Hope for the Fatherless

Father’s Day was yesterday and for many, that brings a great deal of emotion. Some spend time with their dad, even if it’s just a long phone call. Others visit a grave with flowers or attend to a similar ritual. Many are blessed with fond memories of the man that raised them, even if that man has long since passed from this life. Not everyone is so fortunate. Some hear, “father” or “dad” and recoil. It may be because their dad was a truly vile person. Perhaps it wasn’t that he was evil or malicious but rather that he had to be loved from a distance. Whatever the case may be, not everyone has the blessing of having a father in their life that they feel genuine affection for. This creates a unique challenge for the Christian faith, in no small part because as Christians, we call out to God, “Abba, Father!”

From Above or Below?

There is a debate in theology that centers around the direction in which theology moves. Do we do theology upward or downward? Put another way, do we start with man and work our way up or do we start with God and work our way down? Different answers have been given, including cleverly phrased, “Well it depends,” statements. I don’t want to descend into a debate on that matter specifically here, but I do want to make a clear and, I think, key assertion: our idea of fatherhood has to start with God and work it’s way down to our parents. This is because if we do otherwise, we can end up with muddled or confused ideas about who God is or what fathers are supposed to be.

God as Father

Its no surprise that Christians view God as Father. “I/webelieve in one God, the Father,” is the beginning of the earliest creeds and the language of fatherhood is abundant in the Bible. Jesus refers to God as Father and himself as Son even as he declares himself one with God. God describes himself as a father to Israel and Solomon even compares God to a father who disciplines his children out of love.

While we can grant that God is wholly unique and as such earthly fathers, even at their best, can only ever be analogous to the Father, we see the traits that make good fathers abundantly in the Father. Love, kindness, a sense of justice and fairness tempered with a love for mercy, strength (physical or otherwise) and so many other traits are put on display by God, all of which we seek in our fathers here on earth and herein is the rub. If we look at our earthly fathers and assume that God must be like them, we may imagine a petty deity riddled with the worst of man’s flaws. We may think of one who turns his nose up at our best efforts or even swears and raises his fist at us for bothering him. What we find when we look at God to define fatherhood for us is far more welcoming and certainly less intimidating.

Today, you may find yourself fatherless, be it literally or metaphorically. If that’s the case, know that there is hope. Your father is, in many respects, irreplaceable. There is the quite obvious fact that no one else could sire you, at least not without your ending up being meaningfully different. At a similar level of apparentness is that the influence that your father, biological or otherwise, had on you is difficult to replicate. This can be devastating for those whose fathers dropped, or spiked, the ball. If that is the case, take heart. Your father is not the Father, neither archetypically nor theologically. While your wounds are legitimate and require time and care to heal, what requires little time at all is to throw yourself into the arms of a loving Father who has tended to your most pressing needs.

Hope for Fathers

You may instead find today that you, as a father, feel like a failure. Maybe you rake yourself over the coals over some mistake from when your children were young. Perhaps you look with regret on the time you could have spent with your family and spent elsewhere. Whatever the case may be, don’t look to yourself. Look instead to your Father, who is perfect in every way that you find yourself lacking, and more. Look to the Son, who lived and died not just for you but also for your children. Rely on the Spirit who is poured out so that you can live up to the high calling of father out of a strength that surpasses your own. You may fail your children from time to time. The Father, the Son, and the Spirit will never fail you or those you love. Instead of trying to live up a standard you will never reach, rest for a moment knowing that even your greatest needs have been met and point your children to the same Father that surpasses all others.